Who Was the Quietest Man in the Bible?

Comma has a CD with several Bible stories on it. He handed it to me this week and asked me to tell him which stories were on it. I read the list of stories to him and finished with, "... and the last one is about Paul."
He replied, "What about Silence?"

(He was referring to Paul and Silas in the Philippian jail, a story he is familiar with from a favorite book)

It's All a Matter of Perspective

Today when leaving the gym I walked up to what I thought was my vehicle and pressed the button to open the door. When it didn't open, I initially thought my key fob thing was broken, but then I glanced in the window and noticed that this vehicle had different kids' books scattered on the seat than the ones I'd left in mine. A quick check of the license plate confirmed that this wasn't my car and a little further search led us to the right vehicle, down a few cars in the same row. Because I had been in such close proximity, I had been opening and closing the door on my vehicle as I tried to open the one that looked like mine. It was closing as we walked up to it and I remarked, "Wow, that car looked just like ours!" Comma replied, matter-of-factly, "No it didn't. It had different tires."
M.E.: It did?
Comma: (a little impatiently) Yes, why didn't you look at the tires?
M.E.: Well, the tires are down by the ground, so they're not the first thing I see. You notice them because you're shorter and they're right where you're looking.
Comma: (pretty disgusted with me by this point) Well, you should have asked me. I could have told you!

Vitamins

Green Pea and Comma have a CD of Bible verses put to music that they listen to while falling asleep. Green Pea came to me one day very perplexed and asked, "Why does my CD say that the bad people will eat vitamins?"

I asked him to tell me which track it was on and we listened to it together. It was Proverbs 13:2 "A man shall eat good by the fruit of his mouth: but the soul of the transgressors shall eat violence."

How I know I should probably be spending more time outside with my kids...

A few days ago we set up the dancing caterpillar sprinkler in the backyard for the kids to cool off. While they were running through it, Comma found a feather in the grass.

M.E.: Comma, do you know what this is?
Comma: A feather!
M.E.: Do you know where it came from?
Comma: The couch!
M.E.: Well, that's not a bad guess - the cushions in our couch do have feathers in them and once in a while one comes out, but this feather didn't come from there. Where do you think it came from?
Comma: A pillow!

Now I know how my mother felt...

...when I insisted on having mile-high bangs back in the late '80s.

Green Pea has been styling his hair to look like an old-man combover and regardless of how many times that I tell him it looks ridiculous, he thinks it's totally cool. I suppose that pictures like this will provide endless entertainment for his kids someday, but for now it just makes me want to tear my own hair out!

career changes

Our conversation while driving home from the store today:

Green Pea: I want to be a money loaner when I grow up.
M.E.: Ok.
Green Pea: What do you do if you're a money loaner?
M.E.: Well, you have money to invest and people who want to start a business or something come and tell you about their business plan and you try to decide who has a good plan and can grow their business and pay back the money.
Green Pea: I want to be a teacher and a pizza maker and then I'll try to be president.
M.E.: Oh, really?
Green Pea: Yeah, I'll be a teacher when I first move out of the house and get my own house and then after that I'll be a pizza maker and then I'll try to run for president.
M.E.: Where does being a money loaner figure into all that? I thought you wanted to be a money loaner.
Green Pea: (dismissively) Oh, I'll do that when I'm a teenager!

Scotch tape can fix anything

Comma is very fussy about his food being in what he considers good condition and consumed in the manner he approves. If a corner breaks off of a slice of cheese before it's placed on his cheeseburger, as far as he's concerned it's damaged goods and he doesn't want it. He likes to eat his bananas "like a monkey" - meaning with the peel partially peeled back but NOT completely removed. I made the mistake of peeling a banana too far down for his liking one day and he was adamant that he wasn't going to eat it. Trying to avoid a big battle over nothing, I offered to tape the peel back together closer to the top of the banana. Comma accepted this remedy and proceeded to eat his banana. I didn't think much about it until a few weeks later when he was picking up a burger (minus the bun, which he prefers to eat separately) and a large chunk of it broke off. He immediately dissolved into tears and insisted that I fix it. I tried to explain that I couldn't stick the burger back together - it would just come apart again. He started shouting, "Then tape it!" I told him that it wouldn't work and I was not going to tape his burger back together. His frustrated response: "Why not? It worked with the banana!"